23!!! (5-25-10)

Dear Q,

Feliz Cumpleanos. This year, I gift you:

1. Hot Flashes at 1am (Yep, you’re only 23)
2. Explosive Diarrhea
3. Vomiting after lunch
4. A middle school dance

I hope this year (and many more to come) is as eventful as today!

After being in my permanent site for 3 complete days, it finally sunk in that I’m a Peace Corps Volunteer and will be living in a foreign country, in a remote town, speaking Spanish only for the next 2 years. While those are the very reasons that brought me here, an approaching birthday while being miles away made the idea more concrete, possibly even scary.

Calling it “hot flashes” is probably extreme. But I definitely woke hourly starting at 1am to my body sweating. Kicking the covers off, I got colder but as soon as I returned to my sleep, the heat returned. Ironically, it rained the entire night and there was a strong breeze: possibly the coldest night I’ve experienced here.

Explosive diarrhea needs no explanation. It comes with the territory.

Now, the vomiting is a different story. My new host mom (Adis) loves to cook. She is “Ama de la Casa” and takes that role to heart: always in the kitchen cooking. She’s also a good cook, so no complaints. The problem? She prepares my plates with 2 servings of rice & beans, a serving of meat (larger than the palm), and the 3rd piece of the meal. Repeat this times 3 and you can just imagine how my system is reacting. At this point, “full”no longer describes me after a meal. Perhaps, “stuffed, “bloated", “fat.” When the next meal arrives, my stomach actually frowns.

You’re probably saying “Stop being lazy and fix your own damn plate of food”or “Tell her you want less”or “Stop Eating.” Well, all of the above challenge Tico culture. Here, the woman of the house prepares the plates for both males and guests. For the men, I’ll simply mention the word “machismo”and leave it there. For guests, its meaning is similar to “Welcome to my home, where we have plenty to eat.” To offer a guest only a little bit suggests that the family is poor and no Tica wants to give off that image. Interesting enough, it is customary for the guest to refuse big portions because they do not want their host to think they do not have enough food in their home.

With that said, it is not acceptable to come into a new house and fix your own plates. Also, telling a Tica that you want only a little invites the “teaspoon” game. For example, today, I told my host mom that I only wanted to eat a little rice. She takes a teaspoon and halfway fills it with the rice on my plate, thus removing it. “Menos, por favor.”She repeats the same steps. “Menos, por favor.”Again. Finally, I ask for the spoon and remove 2/3 of the rice on my plate.

In doing this, I was still being polite. The truth is that my stomach was beyond full. Throughout the meal, I thought Ï need a Pepsi or Sprite!! Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom and vomited all that I had eaten. Too much info, I know. But finally, I asked her if I could fix my own meals. This question seemed simple enough, but I’m positive that I had to go through this dance before she gave me her permission to prepare my own plates.

Also, skipping meals is just as troublesome. “No tiene hambre? (You’re not hungry)” Porque no? In this scenario, you simply do not like the woman’s cooking. Refusing a meal here is basis for being committed to an insane asylum. Okay, that’s an exaggeration (just barely.)

Back to my bday. Later that evening, my host sister, Johanna, told me that the youth of the community were getting together to celebrate my bday. Excited (mostly because I’m still meeting people), I walked into a room of 30 kids under the age of 15. Not exactly what I expected, since youth was defined by my program manager at 15-25ish (or until they are married. Oh well…

Immediately, the music started. Salsa. Karuumba (sp). Bachacha (sp) etc… The girls immediately grabbed each other and started dancing whereas the guys sat on the wall and stared. Middle School, anyone? When a young lady tried to convince a guy to dance, the other boys would make a hissing sound; which in turn made him even more hesitant. My life for the next 2 years!

Eventually, American music came on and they wanted me to teach them how to dance. Hmm…Impossible, perhaps? I tried to explain that there is not a set dance (unless a particular song such as Cupid Shuffle is playing). Furthermore, it would be morally inappropriate for me to teach (or display) dancing (as done in a club) to little kids. Luckily, they had more Latin music than US.

Happy Bday Q! You are already beginning to love MonteCarlo.