The earliest lesson we learn in life is how to fall. Your parents love to tell the story of how they dropped you as an infant. Or how you rolled off the bed and onto the floor. Or, at 9 months, you finally test the limitations of your legs. Or, when you finally get the idea of walking under control and start to run; but that run leads to a hard fall.
The second lesson is recovery. As a baby, a parent is always near. They use their hands as railings but give you the space. When you do fall, they come to your side and pick you up, dust off the dirt, a kiss on the boo-boo, and reset you on your feet. What exactly are you learning? The pain is only momentarily. A bruise might appear. But eventually, you’ll get it right. But most importantly, the physical impact of a fall is never as dreadful as you thought.
These lessons are repeated throughout your life: learning how to ride a bike, learning how to read, applying for colleges, etc… You learn that with each new challenge/adventure, the possibility of falling (or failing) is always there.
This past Thursday, a skating company came to my community. In the days leading up to openning night, I asked a few friends if they were going. The consensus: No, I’d die if I tried to skate.
On opening night (a special for 2x1), I showed up and a 10 year old girl looked in on the guys skating. I asked her if she wanted to skate but she refused saying she’d die. After watching me skate for 20 minutes, I reoffered to get her some skates and she accepted as long as I would teach her. Adjusting her skates, I stated “You’re going to fall. Accept that,” and then pulled her onto the skating ring, not giving her time to change her mind. Mentally, she accepted that it was impossible to skate and figured it would be easier to hold my waist or have me pull her. I put her next to the wall and walked beside her instead. (Here, I have had a few young girls try to hold on to my waist or lean on me for support as we walked uphill. Socially, this is acceptable as you can often see a younger person lean on an older person as they walk. However, the idea of someone younger than me with more energy stealing my strength makes me sick.) After walking her around the ring 3 times, I pulled my hand away and left her be: You learn how to skate by first learning how to fall.
Halfway through the night, she and 6 other young ladies (along with the young guys) were falling all over the floor—alone.
As I skated freely around the rink (not falling but lacking the grace of a professional skater), I realized that the lesson of falling is one missing from the culture of my town.
Of course, they all experience falling but the lesson is never seeded into their lives. If you want to learn a new skill, you must be prepared to work hard, fall, and work harder.
Education
I recently interviewed my school director and as an educator, asked her opinion about the number of high school aged children not in high school. Her response: “Son vagas” (They’re lazy).
In the past, the opportunity of attending high school wasn’t available because the nearest high school was 10 km away and your family could not afford it. But in the last 15 years, the increase in scholarships and transportation has made it easier for all to attend high school. In my town, there are about 6 girls not in high school (the number is amazingly higher among guys.) While 6 does not seem like a lot, take into consideration that my town has less than 300 people and 30 of those are high schoolers. That’s means that about 20% of the high school population dropped out.
My interview took place during the 6th grade class. Coincidentally, it is the last required level of school for all Costa Ricans. At the end of my interview, the director (who also teaches classes), polled class on who planned on continuing onto high school. 50% firmly stated no.
What’s my interpretation of the education problem? Two things: Cultural and Individual.
Parents see the value in education and if a child is interested in attending, will fill out all of the paperwork to enroll the child and receive the scholarships. However, I noticed two deadly mentalities. First, parents allow their children to give up and drop out. (I’m pretty sure that their is discussion before the decision is made. But I’ve asked in front of the parents and all seem at peace with the decision.) Secondly, making good grades is perceived as an innate gift. If your child doesn’t make good grades, he/she simply is not smart enough to attend school and cannot handle school. This would be the cultural inputs
At this point, all of my family and friends would be preparing the arguments to disagree. The Educators should be packing their bags to head for Costa Rica.
Culturally, there exists an alternative to not attending high school: Stay in the community and help out around the house.
The decision not to attend high school is just as much individual. When asking the girls why they don’t attend school, I receive two answers: 1) School was boring and 2) Cuesta mucha (It’s too hard.)
Well, yes. School can be boring and often is. But staying at home all day is just as boring. At least be bored with your friends that are in school. Is school too hard? Depends on who you ask. There are the few that don’t need to study. They simply show up for an exam and ace it. But for the majority of us, some type of effort is required.
We stumble in our skates.We test and receive a bad grade. Not liking the feeling of this fall, we work harder. Studying. Homework. Taking advantage of teacher’s office hours. Practice. After some time, we end up like the young girl in the center of the skating ring: skating, falling, accepting the temporary hurt, and retrying.
Sigh. One of the phrases I hear to often here is “Cuesta mucha.” Yes, learning a new language is difficult. Doing well in school requires works. Learning to drive takes time. Walking 2 hours up to the mirador takes commitment.
As a child, I remember saying “I can’t….” My mother’s (and every other adult’s) response: That word is not in the dictionary and I never want to hear it in your vocabulary. What’s the equivalent of this phrase in Spanish?
What I do know is that Costa Rica is following the same road as the US: education is absolutely necessary. Coffee is no longer the reliable income families depended on. Land is becoming less available. Future and good jobs depend (just think, the main industry is tourism) on education.
I hope I see that young girl tonight in the center of the skating rink, falling and laughing.
